Not a Normal Trip to the Bathroom
by RaajmdTMP
Summary: What if someone overheard one of Helga's speeches in the bathroom?


Disclaimer: Dubon't ubown thubem. Nuevuber wubill. Translation: Don't own  
them. Never will.  
  
Author's Note: This story's been hanging around on my laptop for quite a while now, since November of 2001 to be exact and I felt I should just post  
it and get it over with. You can probably guess it's not one of my favorites. I don't usually write in first person and the result is a tad, well, strange. Like my other short story, I don't know how I came up with this really. By the way, this is definitely pre-confession given how long  
ago it was written. Gee, am I long winded today or what?  
  
Not a Normal Trip to the Bathroom  
By RaajmdTMP  
  
Oh, great. What did I do now?  
  
"You were almost in my way, Football Face."  
  
"How was I supposed to know where you were going, Wolfgang?"  
  
Yeah, that's it. Reason with him. He's just a normal kid. He'll think that  
makes sense.  
  
"What did you say?"  
  
Or not. Maybe reasoning with him wasn't the best idea.  
  
"I asked you what you said!"  
  
Running would be a good idea. Where should I go? Well, I can't leave school  
grounds. That would get me into even more trouble. I could hide in the school though. Wolfgang couldn't find his way around the school if his life  
depended on it. Did I just think that? Must be the fear talking.  
  
I bolt for the door. I look back at Wolfgang. I can tell his confidence is shaken because I had the guts to try to get away. Well, that's a start. Now  
where do I go? Where is the one place Wolfgang would never think to go? There's always the girls' bathroom. No, I couldn't go in there. That's too  
weird.  
  
"Hey, Football Face! Where do ya think you're goin'?"  
  
Okay, that's a little too close for comfort. I guess the girls' room wouldn't be so bad. It's only for a few seconds anyway. I don't even have to open my eyes. I can hear Wolfgang coming closer so I suck it up and push the door open. Wow, it's kind of nice in here. Why don't we get a bathroom  
as nice as this?  
  
Oh, no. Someone's coming. It doesn't sound like Wolfgang though. Well, whoever it is, they're coming in here. I run into a stall and quickly shut the door. The girl entered. There was silence for a few minutes until the  
door opened again.  
  
"You wanted me, Helga?"  
  
Oh, great! A perfect end to a perfect day. I run to the bathroom to get  
away from a bully and end up running into another.  
  
"Good, Phoebs, you're here. I need you to do something for me."  
  
She sounds nervous. I wonder what's wrong.  
  
"Are you okay, Helga?"  
  
"I'm worried, Phoebe."  
  
"Worried? This wouldn't by any chance be about 'ice cream', would it?"  
  
Ice cream?  
  
"Ice cream?"  
  
"Yeah, 'ice cream,' you know, you're obsession."  
  
"Oh, 'ice cream!' Of course it is, Phoebe, who else?"  
  
'Ice cream's' a who?  
  
"What do you want me to do?"  
  
"I want you to find out why Wolfgang was chasing Arnold and where he is."  
  
"How should I go about doing it?"  
  
"I don't know, Phoebs. You'll find a way, right?"  
  
"Of course, Helga."  
  
Pause.  
  
"Why are you still here?"  
  
"Going!"  
  
"Thanks, Phoebe. Remember, this conversation never happened."  
  
"Right, forgetting."  
  
Well, that was interesting. Was she worried that Wolfgang would hurt his  
hand while beating me to a pulp?  
  
"Oh, Arnold!"  
  
Huh? She couldn't possibly know I'm in here.  
  
"Why must Wolfgang dislike you so much? You've never done anything to hurt  
him."  
  
Sorry for being repetitive but, huh? What the heck is going on here?  
  
"Why must I torture myself with my secret? I should just tell you before  
it's too late. I should tell you, my love, how I feel!"  
  
What in the world? Oh great! Did I just gasp?  
  
"Who's there?"  
  
Oh no.  
  
"Who's there?!"  
  
Her voice is shaky. What am I supposed to do?  
  
"I know someone's in there, now, get out here!"  
  
If I were anyone else this would be easier.  
  
"I'm not joking! Get out here or you'll answer to Old Betsy!"  
  
Here goes nothing. I take a deep breath and unlock the stall. I slowly open  
the door. I look up at Helga with an awkward smile.  
  
"Arnold!" she gasps.  
  
"Helga, I.Helga? Helga, are you all right?"  
  
"Of course I am, Football."  
  
She fainted! Oh, my God! Now what do I do?  
  
"Help! Someone get help! Helga fainted!" I scream out the door.  
  
A third-grader ran to get the nurse and Mr. Simmons stuck his head out the  
door.  
  
"Arnold, did I hear right?"  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
"Oh, my word! Where is she?"  
  
"She's in the girls' room."  
  
"She's very lucky that you noticed she was sick."  
  
"Uh, yeah. I guess so."  
  
They took Helga to the nurse's office. They said she'd be fine, she just  
needed some rest. So we all went back to class.  
  
Boy, it is quiet here without Helga. Too quiet. No, this isn't happening. I don't miss Helga. Why would I miss someone who throws spitballs at me all day, plays pranks on me, calls me football head. Why would I miss someone that. someone that always seems to be there when I need someone to talk to. Someone that stands up for me when I need it most. This can't possibly be  
happening. I can't be falling for Helga Pataki, can I?  
  
"Uh, Mr. Simmons? Can I go, um, check on Helga?"  
  
"That's very thoughtful of you. Sure, Arnold, of course you can."  
  
Once I'm outside the classroom, I decide not to go straight to see Helga. I take a little excursion to my locker to clear my head.by banging it into the locker a few times. Ah, that's better. Maybe I'm not falling for Helga after all. It's probably just because of all that's going on that I felt anything in the first place. I better go see Helga now. I've been gone a while. I start off at a jog in the direction of the nurse and as I turn the corner I bang into, you guessed it, Helga. I guess she's feeling better.  
  
"Arnold!"  
  
"Helga!"  
  
We sit there on the ground for a second, not knowing quite what to say. Second awkward moment of the day. Out of the many times in our lives we've ended up crashing into each other, this is the first time I blushed. Helga  
noticed and looked away. Then, she started to talk.  
  
"Arnold, um, about earlier."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I didn't mean."  
  
"Yes, you did. You wouldn't have said those things if you didn't. There was  
no one there to hear you. Well, at least you thought there wasn't. You  
didn't say it for no reason, right? You really do feel that way, don't  
you?"  
  
I didn't take a breath during that whole thing, let alone think. I didn't  
sound too eager, did I?  
  
"Are you all right, Arnold?"  
  
She's smiling. Oh, why did she have to smile? Maybe if she smiled more  
often it wouldn't have this effect on me.  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm.I'm fine."  
  
"Good. What I was trying to say, before you interrupted me with that, uh, speech of yours, was that I didn't mean to be so horrible to you over the years. I didn't mean to keep this a secret from you for so long and I sure  
as heck didn't mean for you to find out the way you did."  
  
"So, you're trying to tell me that this isn't something new. You've had a  
crush on me for a while?"  
  
"That's the understatement of the millennium. I.I've been in love with you  
since the first time we met."  
  
"Really? Wow, I never thought."  
  
"Well, I didn't give you many signs, did I?"  
  
"No, I guess not."  
  
We stare at each other for a minute in silence.  
  
"We better, ah, get back to class."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
I stand up slowly and then reach out a hand to help her up. She looks up at  
it before grabbing my hand.  
  
"Thanks," she says as I pull her up.  
  
"Uh, Helga?" I ask as we start walking.  
  
"Yeah, Arnold?"  
  
"I was wondering, if it isn't a problem, if I could, um, walk you home  
today?"  
  
"Sure, whatever floats your boat, Arnoldo."  
  
I look up at her and give her a look. She had this cute little smile on her  
face and I couldn't help but smile back.  
  
The End  
or maybe it's just  
The Beginning 


End file.
